Closing Costs: Stewart Realty, Book Three Page 9

  Sara patted her friend’s knee. “Men are total shits. That much is true.”

  “Jack’s cool though. Honestly. I like him.”

  “Yeah, he is.” They sipped their wine. Sara sighed, ready to admit how she felt. “But he’s wrong for me, or something. We can’t seem to get it together.”

  “You have the perfect excuse. Why don’t you just go with that? Let him be Katie’s dad like he wants to be. You guys try too damn hard to find reasons not to be together. You realize that right?”

  “He’s so volatile. I don’t want to put her through it.” Sara pointedly ignored the fact that she’d done exactly what Julie accused her of–come up with yet another excuse not to be with Jack.

  Julie set her glass down on the table and leaned back, hand over her eyes. “He loves you more than anything. You’d be better off if you acknowledged it. Shit.” She grabbed for her buzzing phone, leaving Sara to contemplate her words. “What? No. I’m not home. I’m out. Why? Screw you Adams I’ll be out as long as I please.” She ended the call. “That went well.” Then she burst into tears.

  Sara’s phone rang. She rolled her eyes. “What are we in middle school?” she asked before Jack could say anything.

  “So Julie is with you?” His voice sounded muffled.

  “Yeah. She is. I’m putting her to bed on the couch.”

  “Okay. Thanks.” He was quiet but remained on the line.

  She swallowed hard. “You can take Katie to Florida next week.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate it you trusting me with her.”

  “Like you said Jack, we’d better figure out how to deal with each other as adults if we are gonna do this…co-parenting thing or whatever. But, you stay Uncle Jack. Got it?” She closed her eyes to keep the room from spinning. It made it worse.

  “Whatever you want.”

  “What I want is irrelevant. But this is how it has to be for now.”

  “I know what I want.” His voice dipped low, buzzing in her ears.

  Sara didn’t say anything, afraid she’d blurt out something drunken and stupid.

  “I want you,” he declared, simply, then he hung up.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The morning had started late which set the tone for them both. Sara slapped a sandwich together, added a banana and Katie’s favorite chocolate chip cookies and threw it all into her daughter’s lunchbox. The girl sat perched on the kitchen counter, her usual spot, observing Sara with what felt like a critical eye.

  “Mommy, I don’t like that kind of cookie. You know that. Here, give it to me.” Sara handed the girl the lunchbox, watching as she reassembled it and added the juice box Sara had forgotten in her haste. The girl’s calm, yet persistent organizational skills getting under Sara’s skin in a way that shamed her at that moment.

  She tried not to snap. “Come on sweetie, we’re running late.”

  “I like Uncle Jack.”

  “Yes, honey. So do lots of people.” She winced at her cattiness. “I mean, he’s very likeable.”

  “He wants to take me to Disney World.” Sara looked over her shoulder at the girl. Her eyes were wary, as if testing out the concept.

  “Do you want to go with him?”

  “I think so. I mean, if it’s okay with you. That’s what he said.”

  “It’s okay with me.”

  “Have you gone on vacation with him before?”

  Sara shivered. “Why?”

  “He said you had, that you had a good time. Did you meet Mickey Mouse and have a Princess dinner? He said we would.”

  Sara ran a hand down her daughter’s face. “No sweetie, I didn’t. But you’ll have a good time, I’m sure. Where’s your backpack? I told you to leave it by the back door. Shit.” She yelped as her toe connected with a chair leg.

  “It’s okay. I’m ready.” And she was. Sara sighed and looked at the girl.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I’m not a very good mommy sometimes.”

  The girl pulled her down to eye level and put her hands on Sara’s shoulders. Her green eyed gaze serious. “You’re the best mommy in the world. Now let’s go. We’re late.”

  * * *

  The afternoon had been slow so Sara met Katie at the daycare door, hoping to surprise her. She’d spent all day pondering the girl’s response to her self-centered whining about not being a good mom and had concocted some “girls’ time” for them in her head, full of laughter, swings at the park and a picnic. The disappointment on the girl’s face at the sight of her put a dent in her decent mood.

  “Where’s Uncle Jack?” the girl demanded, crossing her arms.

  “I’m here, honey. Uncle Jack just helped me out yesterday.”

  “I want him.” She dug in her heels, her lower lips staring to quiver.

  “C’mon. Let’s go to the park. The one near the DQ.” She held out her hand.

  “No.” A tear dripped off the girl’s small nose. “Why do I have so many uncles anyway?” Sara tried not to overreact.

  “Because you’re the luckiest girl on the planet, that’s why.” She scooped her up and held on tight, fighting the urge to agree with her.

  Katie sniffled a little. Then smiled, putting her hands on Sara’s face. “Okay. But I’ll bet Uncle Jack would like to go with us to the park. Let’s call him.”

  * * *

  “Hi Mommy!” The sound of Katie’s voice coming from so far away made Sara’s eyes burn.

  “Hi baby! Are you having fun?” She leaned back in the chair and let herself acknowledge that the week she thought she’d enjoy – one free of any and all daycare drop-off or pick-up, meals that balanced and the necessary laundry to appease Katie’s fashion sense –had had the opposite effect. She’d been miserable in the empty house, wandering from room to room, tidying up and always anticipating the giggles, mini-lectures, and other noises she’d come associate with her precocious daughter.

  “I love it so much here! It’s sunny and warm and I saw Mickey and had the Princess dinner and have been swimming and water sliding with…”

  Sara let the girl’s words swirl around in her brain. Finally, she interrupted the monologue.

  “Are you wearing sunscreen and…”

  “I know all that, Mommy.” The exasperation in the girl’s voice made Sara smile. “Uncle Jack wants to talk to you.” There was a rustling then Jack’s deep voice filled her ears.

  “Hey. I think it’s a success. I’m officially a Walt Disney company investor by this point, if money spent at an individual resort is any indication of…”

  “I miss her, Jack. So much.”

  He laughed. “Of course you do, dear. She’s your daughter. You’ve been with her for her entire life. Cut yourself some slack.”

  A loud screech made Sara flinch. “I’ll assume that’s a sound of joy and not terror or pain.”

  “You can leave me in charge, never fear. Katie, get down off the ceiling fan.”

  “Jack!”

  “I’m kidding. Thanks for letting her come with me. It means a lot to me. I know it was hard for you to agree to it.”

  “No, it wasn’t really. I just wanted you to work for it a little.”

  “That’s my girl. Stubborn to the last. Gotta dash. We have a date with a mermaid or some shit I don’t know.”

  Sara smiled. “Have fun. See you soon.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  By the time Jack and Katie returned from their vacation, Sara felt like she had a better handle on managing her office. Jack had proven true to his word –forcing her to take a hard look at her expenditures, threatening cuts unless she could justify them with hard data. The strict, personal hands-off policy he’d adopted regarding her personally made her insane. Luckily, the office sales numbers were picking up thanks to her focus on the bottom line the way he’d insisted upon so he couldn’t complain anymore

  Of course, it took two to Tango. I could meet him halfway. It’s within my power to change all this. I want to. Step the hell up. Close the gap.

 
But she wouldn’t. The hurt of the past years ran deep and her fear of experiencing it again kept her aloof, matching his demeanor. She marched through her days, piling up victories at work, enjoying Katie in ways she hadn’t in a while, but all the while wishing for one thing—for an opening from Jack.

  But it seemed as though she’d lost her shot.

  She stared on the spreadsheets in front of her, attempting to justify expenditures that did exceed all other sales offices, by a lot. Lordy, management sucked. Her phone buzzed with a text from Jack.

  You there? We need to talk.

  She frowned at the clock. Nearly six-thirty. Julie had agreed to get Katie from daycare and the girl had been giddy at the concept of a mani/pedi with her mommy’s new friend.

  Yeah. For a little longer. What’s up?

  I’ll be there in ten.

  She made an effort not to apply lipstick or fuss with her hair. God knows he’d seen her at her absolute worst. She wasn’t about to go out of her way to primp for him. Burying herself in the cost analysis again distracted her from the urge to pace, brush her hair, anything to look good for the man. By the time he rapped on her doorframe, she jumped in surprise.

  He handed her a double skim latte—her favorite—in a cardboard cup and sank into the chair by her desk before speaking. “Fuck me running. This management thing sucks on so many levels I can’t name them all.” He ran a hand down his face. She couldn’t help but grin as she sipped the perfectly timed caffeine.

  “Yeah, and I can thank you for my role in it.”

  “I want to do more with Kate.” She shook her head at the abrupt change of subject.

  Narrowing her eyes at him, her natural reaction was to resist his continued insertion in their lives. “What do you mean more?”

  “Give me some days to pick her up. Do the afternoon stuff. But on a regular basis.”

  “Well…”

  “C’mon Sara, I’m crazy about that kid. I thought we had an understanding.”

  She sighed.

  “I know. I’m sort of surprised that’s all. You didn’t want to have anything to do with her for so long. I don’t want to confuse her with another uncle. She’s already…” She stopped not willing to let on what sort of affect he’d already had on Katie.

  “I’ll accept my part in that. I avoided her because you seemed to want me to. You insisted on it, if you recall. But I told you I wanted to play a bigger role. Now I’m here to sort out the details.”

  Sara put her feet up on her desk. But she was shaking inside, so hard she had to curl her fingers into fists and focus on not falling out of the chair. She stared at him, taking in everything about him that had compelled her to do such idiotic things. His deep blue eyes were shining with intensity. His slightly stubbled jaw was set in a way she knew as well as she knew her own reflection.

  This was her fault. She’d created this mess. But when she’d seen that damn plus sign on the pregnancy test pee stick all she’d felt was a need to close ranks, to do it on her own, if for no other reason than to prove that she could. And in the process, she’d alienated the handsome, compelling, care-taking man across from her right now.

  “This is out of the blue, isn’t it?”

  “No. It’s not and you know it.” He mirrored her, propping his own feet up on the opposite hers. They sat in silence.

  “Jack, you’re…”

  “Persistent? Incredibly talented? Still madly in love despite the obvious signs I’m a fool?”

  She laughed, relieved, but unable to respond the way she should. She still couldn’t trust herself to trust him. “Stubborn?”

  “Hello, kettle this is pot. Guess what color you are?” He grinned over his cup at her, setting her nerve endings jangling. “I miss you Sara.” Those simple words, said countless times before, had a different effect on her today.

  She stood and walked around to face him, leaning on the desk. He merely looked up at her. The space between them crackled with energy. She took one step past him and shut her door, then stood, hands on hips.

  “Okay, persistent. And incredibly talented…at a lot of things.” Putting her hands on the arms of the chair, she leaned in and touched her lips to his. He stayed completely still, letting her lead. So she did.

  She licked his lips, parted them with her tongue, their only contact by mouth but with more than enough between them to fill a book. She sighed when he yanked her down to his lap, forcing her to straddle him, digging his fingers into her hips.

  He buried his hands in her hair, pulled hard, making her gasp. When his lips and teeth touched her neck, she had to hold back a yelp of pleasure. She gasped as his hands roamed up and down her back, tugging her skirt up and cupping her ass. But she couldn’t find words that adequately reflected her convoluted feelings. She decided to go with how damn good it felt to have his hands on her again and worry about everything else later.

  “What do you want from me, really?” His words were muffled, his mouth staying pressed to her neck then down between her breasts. “Because I can give you this.” He clutched her ass, grinding his obvious arousal against her. “And this.” He yanked her blouse up, freed one breast, ran his thumb across her nipple.

  He stopped and cradled her face between his hands, making her look into his eyes. “But that it’s not enough for me now. I want more.” He pushed her up and off him, confusing her as her body continued to thrum and pulse with the kind of anticipation only Jack could provide. He stood and stuck his hands in his pockets.

  Sara caught her breath, and in a split second had herself wrapped around the tall, strong body she still dreamed of, covered the firm lips she fantasized about to that very day. He groaned, met her half way and the world drowned in her sea of lust, frustration and something deeper. She forced that aside. Their teeth clicked, tongues tangled with urgency.

  But he broke away and took two huge steps back from her. She could see his jaw clenching. Could still feel the rasp of his late-day stubble against her skin. She took a deep breath, wondering why she even felt this way but unable to stop herself.

  “Dear God, Sara, I need to be inside you, to taste you, fuck you. I need it so badly I can hardly breathe. But we have to stop.”

  “No,” she whispered. “You don’t really want to.” But she kept her distance. He was right. This, right here, right now, had to stop. Communication by random hook ups was no way to live. Despite how much her entire soul clamored for said hook up with the man standing at the opposite end of her office from her, looking at her like a starving man might eyeball a steak dinner.

  Jack ran a shaking hand down his face and across his lips, suddenly furious with himself and with her. Which was a pretty apt description of their basic issue. Neither of them would admit how good it felt to be together. How much they both wanted it. Something encoded in their respective DNA simply wouldn’t allow it and kept them both clinging to old arguments, old scripts, old bullshit.

  He did a mental shuffle for an excuse and grabbed onto something so lame even he couldn’t believe he said it. “No, baby, I don’t want to. But if you must know, I don’t carry rubbers around with me anymore. And last I checked, the lack of a condom is how we landed in this particular quandary.”

  She squared her shoulders. He felt the guilt slide away from him. She’d thrown up her oh-so-familiar Sara barriers so fast it made him breathless. He felt entitled to some asshole commentary.

  “It’s fine. I take a low dose pill now. It’s safer than it used to be,” she said, her voice low, defeated-sounding which he hated.

  But he’d come here with one goal in mind. Since he’d sidestepped her unique form of distraction well enough he decided he’d best plunge right into it. Keeping his distance, he crossed his arms and forced himself to sound firm.

  “I know that’s my daughter in your house and I want to be a part of your lives. If you want me to fuck you every now and then to take your edge off, that’s fine too. But I’ll be damned if you keep me from her.”

 
She glared at him which in some perverse way was a relief. A pissed-off-at-him Sara he could handle. He’d said his piece, repeatedly. He’d grown, matured, and he didn’t seek instant physical gratification at every turn anymore. He knew what he damn well wanted. Problem was, it stood right in front of him in a five foot four, sexy, smart, frustrating and stubborn package.

  Then say that, lame ass. Tell her what’s in your mind right now and be done with all this posturing and bullshit.

  “Fine. You can have Tuesday and Thursday nights.”

  “And weekends.” He kept his voice calm. Negotiation was one of his many strong suits. And it distracted him from the yammering in his brain about him being as bad as she was when it came to admitting feelings. Which was exactly why they were here, mouthing words neither of them meant, but mouthing them nonetheless.

  He watched her jaw clench and it took everything he had not to reach out, to run his finger across it, ease her, just like he knew he was meant to. He took a step backwards.

  “Listen to me, Jack. Katie is my daughter and all I know is that one of you is her father. I don’t give a damn who, so as far as you are concerned it was an immaculate conception. The man who fathered her was too concerned about winning a prize. I won’t be thought of that way. Nor will I have Katie passed between us like some kind of trophy. Period.”

  Her words shot daggers in his heart but he was resolute on this. He would be a part of the girl’s life. Even if he couldn’t be part of Sara’s the way he wanted. He kept forging ahead with his demands. “I want her to stay at my house too. I’ll fix up a room for her. It’ll be fine.”’

  “How do I explain this to her?”

  “I don’t give two shits how you do it. You can keep calling me an uncle or whatever you do to delude yourself about me, but I will have this.” He ran his fingers through his hair, but his knees shook so hard he had to sit back down.

  The look in her eyes at that moment made him more frustrated than the combined sum total of their years together. And that was saying something.